Adventures in Online Dating: We Found Love in a Hopeless Place
If you’ve been tuning in to this trilogy of epic proportions, I’ve taken you from the four stages of creating a profile and also, introduced you to the types of guys you may or may not encounter and the messages they’ll send. Although online dating can seem hopeless at times, it truly is important to keep your sense of humor. Remind yourself that if you’re (relatively) normal and on the site, there’s bound to be other (somewhat) normal people looking for the same things as you.
Fill out your profile honestly because having to back-step and remember that you’re named Sunny, from Hollywood, work at an animal shelter + feed the homeless on Saturday nights while balancing a career as a professional gymnast and part-time hand model will be nothing short of exhausting. Not to mention that you’d want someone to be honest with you.
Don’t fill in every single box, answer every question and post photos from conception to current day. That’s strange and they need to do some of the work too! What are you going to awkwardly chat about on your first date if he already knows your blood type and social security number?
Put yourself out there. No need to spend more than 7 days typing to someone unless you want a pen pal. Sometimes, you need to make the first move. Set up that first date if you’re inclined and when you do, make sure it’s on your terms. Meet somewhere public and during the daytime. Tell a friend where you’ll be and give them the contact information just in case Prince Charming is actually Mr Bundy.
Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Spoiler alert: Not every date will turn into a happily ever after and that’s ok. This is where keeping your sense of humor and adventure about the process will come in handy. If you’re able to laugh about it and take each moment for what it is, this road to love will seem a lot less tedious.
What happened on my first date, you may ask? Well, to be fair, I’m quite awkward by nature, so don’t use me as a gauge for normalcy. I’m also from Chicago, the real Chicago and assume that everyone, yes even you Little Billy slurping that ice cream cone, has a bit of crazy in them. I was overly cautious. We met for a “coffee” (I hate coffee, and I use the word simply to sum up the act of sitting at a table and sipping something that’s not a cocktail). We met during the daytime because ain’t nobody got time for Taken 5: Lost in Madrid. I told everybody where I was going, even my thuggish, ruggish auntie who would hop on the first flight over here if she thought I was in trouble. I also came prepared with an excuse to leave in case things turned sour. I’ll let you use it: Sorry, it’s been so great meeting you, but I have to pick a friend up from the airport! Clever, I know.
The actual date
He was on time. Check. He looked like his pictures. Check. He held the doors. Check. He let me order for myself. Check.
We started talking, and we hit all the taboo topics—family, ex-girlfriends, kids and embarrassing stories—within the first two hours. Then, a Justin Bieber song came on the radio and I sang my little heart out meanwhile, my date stares with a look of both horror and dread like "Oh crap, she said she was 23! What is going on!?" I sang and sang and did a little jig in my seat too. On top of that, when he proceeded to ask “But, why?” I was completely un-a-pol-o-ge-tic! Looking back, I know there was definitely some divine intervention because he hates Justin Bieber’s music with a burning passion. I think he’d rather listen to a Spice Girls album on loop for 24 hours than endure a few minutes with the Biebs.
Then the moment I was dreading finally arrived: who is going to pay this bill!? I promise I tried to be quiet, cool and collected. Remember my thuggish, ruggish auntie, well, I heard her voice at that very moment. Her voice entered my soul and her words left my mouth: Aren’t you going to pay for that? Face, meet palm... I say silly things. He did in fact pay for it but not without a healthy amount of side-eye at my presumptuous and unnecessary question. The date flowed effortlessly and I forgot all about my excuse. We said good-bye and Spanish-two-kissed. The end.
Just kidding, it’s not the end. We dated for months, spent hours talking on Skype, in cafés, and anywhere we could find the time. And, just for all you skeptics out there, we’re getting married. Yes, we truly found love in a hopeless place. We waded through the internet, in all it’s eclectic glory, and found one another. We still laugh about our first date, and yes, any time the bill arrives, he loves to quote my first—but far from last—Freudian slip. I’m trying to find a way to work: “Aren’t you going to pay for that” into our vows. I’m open to suggestions.
Danni, Community Director at Las Morenas de España, is a twenty-something, Chicago native currently residing in Madrid. Lover of language, words, and travel, she's managed to combine all of her passions through her work. In her free time, you can find her exploring the winding streets of Madrid, hunting down good flight deals, planning her next adventure and writing & researching for LMDES. Danni loves spicy food, natural hair, music and of course, her wonderful life partner. If you need to find her, she’s the girl with huge hair and her face buried in her Kindle.