In a world of #goals, #relationshipgoals & #squadgoals we're constantly bombarded by images, ideas and concepts that aren't our own, but for some reason we should aspire to obtain. We give love with the double tap of an index finger, offer free marketing to insta-celebs and actors with the click of the "share" button, and sit back swooning over "what could be".
Do these people have what we want? Do we know what we want? If we do, then why do we constantly compare ourselves and our goals to others?
Inspiration is one thing, but when virtual "inspo" leads to the stunting of your very real and important goals there's a problem. Let's fix it.
These manufactured images aren't real. Instagram, Tumblr, heck, even Facebook! This is the age of constant curation. We curate our image, edit our photos and tune our voices so much that some times, the final product couldn't be further from the truth! Yes, part of it is art, another part marketing + branding; there may even be some creativity thrown in the mix. The fact is though: it's not organic.
Don't get so caught up in being a #fangirl and lose sight of what you want. What you actually want. This is the year of vibrating higher. This is the year of pushing limits and making deep changes at our core, not just slapping on an extra coat of NYX matte lipstick. It's a great start, but let's take it a step further. When was the last time you asked yourself not only "what do I want" but also, "how do I plan on getting it?"
Not All Goals Have To Be Huge
Our generation has been brought up to believe that bigger is better and if you're not the best, then you may as well not try. Not everyone is going to be President; there's only one Iman, and I'm sorry, but Mark Zuckerberg is an anomaly. Steve Jobs may have been sent to us from another planet, but I'm not one for conspiracy theories!
Does that mean we should give up? Stop living? Stop dreaming? No! Not at all! Dream as big as you want to, but also place importance on the smaller dreams. You're 27, and you've yet to cure cancer? Well, you may as well just go sit in the corner because you can't sit with us. Do you want learn how to swim? See the ocean? Learn how to play tennis? Ride a two-person bicycle? Host a successful dinner party? These goals matter. By giving ourselves smaller goals that we can accomplish in a day, week, month, or even a year, we also find motivation and inspiration.
Be Your Own Inspiration
Would you be inspired by you if you didn't know... well, you? Our generation loves a good quote! Add Marilyn Monroe, Rumi, Gandhi or Deepak Chopra and it gets an instant share! Who are these people? What do they have that you don't? It's time we start looking in the mirror for inspiration. Stop standing in your own way, and letting fear cripple you. You're not a spectator. You're a protagonist. It's time we became our own cheerleaders and fans.
You don't know the back story. You don't see the 37 selfies they discarded before posting the one that just showed up on your feed. You only see the impeccable white marble countertop, not the dirty laundry and cookie wrappers scattered throughout the rest of the house. When you look at an image and create a hypothetical scenario based on a few square feet, a filter and a witty caption you're setting yourself up for disappointment! That's no way to live life. Take time to explicitly focus on feelings like gratitude and contentment, because if not, you'll never be satiated, or appreciative of what you have right in front of you.
Ask Yourself "Why"
I once read that in order to get to the heart of desire, we should ask ourselves "why" three times. If we can't get to the third "why" without mumbling "Because, because damn it!" then we may simply be trying to convince ourselves to want / do something. Gandhi once said "Don't be that guy" and we should listen to his wise words.
"Boy, I really need to lose weight!" Why? Did your doctor recommend that? Or did the media shame you into thinking that wearing a size 10 at 30 years old after giving birth 4.5 hours ago makes you a whale? Ask why do you want what you want. You may be surprised at the answers.
Step back and take a moment to unplug. Your 900 followers on the 'gram will miss you, but will muster the strength to carry on during your absence. We have this deep anxiety about "missing something" and in an attempt to be "present" and available we forget to be... present and available. We digest our food and our surroundings through camera lenses and hear our loved ones through speakers. We see ourselves through filters and talk to our friends with yellow smiley faces. It's draining (and let's face it, pretty weird) AF! You're not weak or crazy for wanting or needing a break from all of it.
Stay with me here, I'm about to get deep: what if the only way to find out what we really want is by unplugging and spending time with our own thoughts because if we don't, we run the risk of plagiarizing our dreams. How can we have an original thought if 20 hours a day we're absorbing the lives, images, and #goals of everyone around us, near and far?
(Cue *mic drop* )
Danni, Community + Content Director at Las Morenas de España, is a twenty-something, Chicago native currently residing in Madrid. Lover of language, words, and travel, she's managed to combine all of her passions through her work. In her free time, you can find her exploring the winding streets of Madrid, hunting down good flight deals, planning her next adventure and writing & researching for LMDES. Danni loves spicy food, natural hair, music and of course, her wonderful life partner. If you need to find her, she’s the girl with huge hair and her face buried in her Kindle.